I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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