$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
