doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
