Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
