Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
