Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
