Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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