Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
