school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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