Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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