On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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