i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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