Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
