My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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