Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
