she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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