im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
