he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
