Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
