WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
