you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
