what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
