I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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