The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
