Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
