I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
