I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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