Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
