Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
