I just pynch a tree in the face
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just invented taco cereal.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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