we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
