Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've blown a few things in my day
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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