im about as happy as oj after his trial
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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