my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
