Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
