I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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