dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
and you fell through a lawn chair
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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