Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
