he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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