I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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