so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
