Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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