Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
