So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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