can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
