Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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