I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
