The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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