you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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