But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
