So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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