everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
