i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
