I just made out with a guy for $7.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
