Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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