And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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