where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
