She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
