Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
